


The Morning After

by Zenece



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 19:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenece/pseuds/Zenece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens the morning after?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning After

~the morning after~

With a soft groan, Kathryn Janeway opened her eyes and immediately closed them again. After years of waking up in dark quarters on a ship amidst the stars, she was nowhere near ready for the glaring light of two suns rising above the horizon this early in the morning. On Abree, the planet circling the twin stars that were currently assaulting her eyes with their bright light, the day was beginning and the sounds of people going about their business could be heard in the background. 

Lying on her back with her eyes closed, Kathryn exhaled softly and allowed her body to slowly wake up. This was taking longer than usual due to the exuberant festivities she had attended the evening before, celebrating successful trading negotiations between the Voyager crew and the friendly and welcoming people of Abree. There had been lots of dancing and laughter and food and drinks aplenty. A hell of a party, Kathryn thought as she lazily ran a hand through her hair and massaged her scalp. She briefly contemplated getting up, but soon discarded that thought and enjoyed the warmth of the suns shining through the window on her body. 

The Abreeans had generously offered them sleeping quarters on the planet. The transport system was useless between Abree and Voyager due to electromagnetic interference in the planet’s atmosphere, preventing the targeting scanners to get a position fix. So an away team consisting of Janeway, Neelix, B’Elanna Torres and the Doctor had taken the Delta Flyer down to the planet and remained there for a couple of days to conduct the trading negotiations. The successful conclusion of these negotiations had been celebrated with an extravagant party the evening before. Starting today, the rest of the crew would be granted shoreleave and the purchased items would be shipped to Voyager on various shuttle runs. Kathryn had no more meetings to attend. 

Lazily she rolled onto her side and snuggled deeper under the covers of the soft and pleasantly warm bed. Through heavy eyelids she noticed a bump under the covers next to her and sleepily wondered for a moment what it was. She was about to reach out and touch it when suddenly the bump groaned and moved. Kathryn’s eyes shot open and suddenly she was wide awake as she realized she wasn’t alone. Before she could do anything a tousled head appeared from under the covers and Kathryn found herself staring terror-stricken into the sleepy eyes of B’Elanna Torres.

 

~the night before~

“I’ve had enough, thank you.” Kathryn Janeway politely refused as the Abreean server placed the fifth cup of ambrosia in front of her. Next to her Neelix purposely scraped his throat and held up his own cup indicating that the Captain was supposed to accept the offer. Ever wary of causing a diplomatic incident, Janeway smiled apologetically at the young Abreean man and picked up the cup anyway, murmuring her thanks.

“Another toast!” The Abreean Head Consul raised his cup and looked around the table with a bright smile. “This time to the people of the Starship Voyager. May benevolent winds see them home soon.” 

For the fifth time around everyone at the table held up their cup and emptied it in one go. Then the servants took the cups away again, replacing them with new full ones. It struck Kathryn as funny that they got a new cup for every toast, rather than just a refill of its contents. The Abreeans would have a hell of a pile of dishes after this feast. 

She raised her cup again to drink on the sixth toast, which she’d missed completely and began to wonder how many of these toasts would follow. She was already feeling pleasantly buzzed and knew she was close to her tolerance levels. From the looks of it, Neelix and B’Elanna were in the same state as she was. Neelix’s spots had turned a dark maroon, which was a sure sign of his inebriation and B’Elanna had already opened the top buttons of the jacket of her dress uniform in an effort to keep cool.

The next toast appeared to be the final one and after the cups were emptied, the servants brought out platters with the most exotic looking food. Of course the food was accompanied by even bigger cups of ambrosia. 

As their host raised his new cup and toasted to the food, Kathryn pursed her lips and exhaled heavily. From across the table B’Elanna grinned at her and shrugged, indicating they had little choice but to go along with their hosts’ customs. Kathryn smiled back at the other woman as everyone raised their cup for yet another toast.

 

~the morning after~

B’Elanna blinked a couple of times and smiled sleepily.   
“Good morning.” She murmured.

Kathryn remained silent and continued to stare at the other woman like a deer caught in headlights. 

Now fully awake, B’Elanna frowned. “Are you okay?” 

Kathryn nodded once, quickly, and turned on her back, focusing at the ceiling. Fragments of memories of the previous evening and night came back to her.

She felt B’Elanna lightly touch her bare shoulder with her fingertips.   
“You needed this. Don’t regret it.” The half-Klingon spoke softly. Then the contact was broken and Kathryn turned her head to watch B’Elanna’s bare back as she got out of bed and entered the bathroom.

When B’Elanna was gone, Kathryn exhaled and let her hand rest on her forehead. She remembered their kissing and their lovemaking, how she had allowed herself to feel and how much she had enjoyed it.

After a few minutes B’Elanna returned, dressed in her underwear. By then Kathryn was sitting up in bed with the sheet carefully wrapped around her naked torso.   
“We need to talk.” She spoke softly.

“It’s alright.” B’Elanna shushed her as she gracefully sank down on the bed next to the other woman. She crossed her slender legs underneath her. “You don’t have to say anything. I understand.” The half-Klingon cocked her head. “Last night was a one-time thing.”

Kathryn looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “I’m sorry.” 

Lifting up the redhead’s chin with one finger, B’Elanna looked intently into her eyes. “Don’t be. Promise me. Don’t feel sorry about this, don’t regret it.” 

She waited until the other woman gave the faintest of nods. 

“We both knew it was just one night.” B’Elanna spoke softly. “The way you made love to me, with such abandon… You knew it would have to last you a long time.”

Kathryn bowed her head at the other woman’s words, knowing how very true they were.   
“Thanks for understanding.” 

“You needed someone.” B’Elanna said and shrugged. “And I hope you don’t regret that I walked you home instead of Talu.” 

 

~the night before~

“Your Captain seems to be enjoying herself.” The Head Consul spoke, pointing to where Kathryn Janeway was trying to learn a native dance under careful instruction of two Abreeans and almost tripped over her own feet.

B’Elanna amusedly raised her eyebrows and the Doctor smiled. “Well, she certainly is, from the looks of it.” The hologram agreed. “I guess all that ambrosia is taking its toll.” As the Head Consul frowned, not understanding, the Doctor elaborated. “She’s not used to have so many toasts before a meal.” 

“Ah, yes, too much ambrosia can make the spirit soar, as is evidenced by your Captain’s laughter.” The Head Consul nodded amicably. “Too bad you can’t experience this wonder, Doctor.”   
“I’m a hologram.” The EMH responded dryly. “I don’t have the stomach for it.” 

The Head Consul broke into roaring laughter over the joke, patting the other man on the back. “You are a witty conversationalist Doctor. I would be delighted to spend more time talking to you.” The Doctor smiled, seeing an opportunity to get more applause. “The pleasure would be mine. But I should warn you: if you’d be planning to bend my ear, you’d have to bring a prism.” 

B’Elanna chuckled and rolled her eyes, deciding that no amount of ambrosia would be enough to survive the rest of the evening in the company of those two.

Neelix approached her as she walked towards the dancing area. Judging from the color of his spots, he too had seen way too much ambrosia.

“These people sure know how to party, don’t they?” He grinned, seeming even more boisterous than his usual self. “Look at the Captain! I didn’t even know she could dance!” 

Just as B’Elanna turned to watch, Janeway almost collided with one of the Abreeans. B’Elanna snickered. “I’m not sure she can.” 

Cheerfully, Neelix grabbed her hands. “Come on Lieutenant. Dance with me!” 

Slightly mortified, B’Elanna pulled her hands free. “I think I’ll pass, thank you.” She shook her head. “But you go ahead.”   
Luckily for her a beautiful young Abreean woman passed them and Neelix’s attention immediately shifted towards her. 

Grabbing another drink, B’Elanna looked for a spot to sit down and watch the people around her. She’d never been much of a dancer, but didn’t mind watching other people do it.

Suddenly Janeway emerged from the crowd and dropped down next to her. 

She laughed at B’Elanna’s questioning look. “My feet are killing me.” 

“I can imagine.” B’Elanna chuckled. She held up her cup. “You want one too?” 

Janeway shook her head, already quite buzzed from all the ambrosia she’d drank in the course of the evening. “I’ve had more than enough, thank you.” 

One of Abreeans that Janeway had been dancing with approached them and held out his hands. “Captain! There you are! Come dance!” 

Laughing Janeway shook her head at the young blond man. “Thanks Talu, but I need to sit down for a while. My feet hurt.” 

Without words, Talu kneeled and started taking off Janeway’s boots. As B’Elanna raised one eyebrow in amusement, Janeway looked down in bewilderment. “What are you doing?” 

“I’ll massage your feet.” The man looked up innocently, pausing. “So you can dance some more.” 

Janeway laughed. “Thanks but I think I’ve danced enough for one evening. In fact, I think I’m going to call it a night. That is…” She looked around, suddenly unsure. “If I can find my sleeping quarters…” 

The blond Abreean got up and stretched his arms invitingly. “I can show you where they are.”

It was quite obvious that the young man had ulterior motives with his offer and Janeway wasn’t interested. So she turned to her Chief Engineer to look at her pointedly, willing the other woman to get the hint.

“You know, I’m turning in as well.” B’Elanna spoke to much to her relief. “And my quarters are just next door to yours. You can come with me if you want.”

Hiding her relief, Janeway shrugged nonchalantly and turned to Talu. “I’ll just go with B’Elanna. That way you won’t have to miss the party.” 

His shoulders sagging with disappointment, Talu nodded. “Very well. Have a good night Captain. And you too, Lieutenant.” 

B’Elanna got up and helped Janeway to her feet as Talu returned to his friends.  
“Is it me or did he seem disappointed that you didn’t take him up on his offer?” B’Elanna grinned at the Captain, referring to the letdown look that had appeared on the blond man’s face. 

As they started walking, Janeway rolled her eyes. “Yes, sorry to drag you into this. He’s been giving me googly eyes all evening. And I’m not interested.”

B’Elanna chuckled, looking over her shoulder in the direction where Talu had disappeared. “You broke the poor guy’s heart.”

Janeway shrugged. “He’ll get over it.” 

B’Elanna pursed her lips. “Ooh, tough love.” She chuckled, guiding the Captain by the arm as she made a left turn. “Even after he offered to massage your feet.”

“Laugh all you want, Lieutenant.” Janeway grinned smugly. “I got what I wanted: he taught me that native dance.” 

“I’m sure he was ready and willing to teach you a lot more though.” B’Elanna laughed. 

“Just what are you implying?” Janeway playfully swatted the other woman’s arm and almost lost her footing. 

Again, B’Elanna grabbed her Captain’s arm and held onto it this time. “Come here, before you trip over your own feet. And I wasn’t implying anything. Just pointing out that the guy had a body that might as well have been chiseled out of marble.” She threw the other woman a pointed look. “There are worse ways to spend an evening.”

With a deep laugh, Janeway exhaled. “Judging from the conversation, I think we both had a little too much to drink this evening, don’t you think?”

B’Elanna grinned cheekily. “Maybe you’re right.” She stopped in front of a door. “Well, this is you.” She indicated. “Are you going to be alright all by yourself?” 

At those words the smile faded on Kathryn’s lips.   
All by myself, she thought. Alone. Again. 

Whether the ambrosia had something to do with it, Kathryn didn’t know, but she reached out to the woman standing in front of her and cupped her face with both hands. Taking one step closer, she gently kissed her on the lips. 

Surprise registered all over B’Elanna’s face, but it quickly receded as Janeway’s tongue ghosted over her lips and their kiss intensified. 

When they broke apart Janeway turned to the door, keying in her code as B’Elanna’s brain struggled to catch up. She didn’t really know what to do, but as the door opened, the Captain turned back to her and extended her hand in wordless invitation. There was no mistaking her intent. Grabbing her hand, B’Elanna followed her inside. 

 

~the morning after~

As B’Elanna finished dressing, Kathryn emerged from the bathroom in a robe. She leaned against the doorframe, unsure what to do or say. 

B’Elanna buttoned up her jacket. “Don’t worry. It doesn’t have to be awkward if we don’t want it to be.” 

Kathryn bit her lip and nodded, not entirely convinced. With a slight smile, B’Elanna stepped closer to the other woman. “No regrets, remember?” She spoke softly, making eye contact. 

“No regrets.” Kathryn whispered softly and closed her eyes as B’Elanna placed a small kiss on her forehead, before turning to leave.

“B’Elanna.” Kathryn spoke when the half-Klingon reached the door and the other woman turned around.   
“For what it’s worth: if Talu had walked me home last night, I wouldn’t have invited him in.” She declared.

B’Elanna gave her a small smile and nodded in acknowledgement before exiting the Captain’s room. 

 

That was the first time it happened.

 

~~~

 

The second time it happened, it just happened. 

A couple of months after the crew’s shoreleave on Abree, Chakotay persuaded Kathryn to join him, Tom, Harry, B’Elanna and Seven of Nine for a Hoverball game on the Holodeck.  
Upon trying to catch the ball, Kathryn collided with B’Elanna and together they landed onto the floor. B’Elanna grunted as the air was knocked out of her lungs and the sound unexpectedly set Kathryn’s blood on fire. When the half-Klingon Engineer held out her hand to help the Captain up, they shared a look and later, when Kathryn simply followed the other woman to her quarters after the game, B’Elanna didn’t ask any questions. 

Once inside they made creative use of the sonic shower and eventually ended up in bed. In the middle of the night, when B’Elanna was sound asleep, Kathryn left. The next day, they didn’t speak about what had transpired between them. 

And it didn’t happen anymore.

 

~~~

 

Months later, ensign Timothy Raine died on an away mission. Due to unexpected seismic activity, the cave he and his colleagues had been searching for deposits of cortenide had collapsed. His colleagues survived. He didn’t.

That night, Kathryn Janeway was alone in her quarters, staring out the viewport when the door chime sounded.

She got up to answer the door and it opened to reveal a solemnly looking B’Elanna. Without words, Kathryn stepped aside to let her in.

As the door closed behind her, B’Elanna faced the other woman. “Are you okay?” She quietly asked with genuine concern.

Kathryn swallowed hard as tears gleamed in her eyes. “I lost one.” She spoke hoarsely. 

Nodding, B’Elanna stepped closer, gathering the other woman in her arms and Kathryn clung to her, finally letting her tears flow freely.

“I lost a member of my crew…” She repeated between sobs. 

B’Elanna shushed her, pressing her lips against the redhead’s hair. “It’s not your fault.”

Kathryn shook her head. “I was supposed to… get him… home…” She sobbed.

“It was an accident.” B’Elanna said. “There was nothing you could’ve done.” She moved her hands to cup the other woman’s face and looked into her teary eyes. “You can grieve, but you can’t blame yourself for this.” 

Kathryn sniffed and looked at the other woman, then crossed the distance and pressed her lips against the half-Klingon’s mouth.

B’Elanna drew away, cringing as she saw the look of hurt cross Kathryn’s features. 

With a tearstained face, the redhead looked at her. “Please…” 

B’Elanna swallowed. “You’ll only regret it afterwards.” She whispered. “Just like last time when you left in the middle of the night.”

Kathryn didn’t say anything because she knew B’Elanna was right. 

“I can’t do this if you can’t look me in the eye the morning after.” The half-Klingon added softly. 

Kathryn nodded slowly. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry too.” B’Elanna spoke quietly. “Because I’d love nothing more than to wake up next to you…” Her voice trailed off wistfully for a moment.   
Then she resolutely scraped her throat, effectively changing the subject. “Don’t beat yourself up over Timothy Raine’s death. It wasn’t your fault. You’ll get the rest of us home. You know that, right?” 

Kathryn nodded hesitantly, frowning.

“Take a nice warm bath and then get some sleep.” B’Elanna instructed the other woman. “It will all be better in the morning.”   
She quickly placed a kiss on her superior officer’s forehead. 

“Goodnight.” She spoke softly before she left the Captain’s quarters.

~

After Timothy Raine’s memorial service, B’Elanna stood at the large windows in the Mess Hall staring into space where ensign Raine’s body was now floating between the stars.

Kathryn approached her, taking the space next to the other woman. She stood quietly for a moment. 

“You were initially scheduled to go on this away mission, you know.” She spoke softly and swallowed. “It could have been you out there.” She nodded to the emptiness of space.

Without turning her head, B’Elanna pursed her lips. “It could’ve been any of us.” 

Kathryn studied the profile of the half-Klingon’s face. “I couldn’t wake up next to you in the morning and order you to your death in the afternoon.”

B’Elanna exhaled. “But at least then you would be standing here with actual memories instead of with regret about things that could have been.”  
She shook her head. “I have to go.”

~

Kathryn was lying awake in bed staring at the ceiling while thinking about the things B’Elanna had said. With a sigh she sat up, got out of bed and moved to the window to stare into space. She could think things to death if she wanted to, something she’d done countless times before. And each time she’d seen opportunities pass by and people move on. 

Not this time, she decided. This time, she would go for it, because the alternative as B’Elanna had put it –to be filled with regret about things that might have been- was simply not acceptable. Life in space was unpredictable and sometimes dangerous. What would be its purpose if she didn’t live that life to the fullest, enjoying the heights and accepting the lows? 

With a sudden clarity, she made her decision. And she wasn’t about to sit idle. 

Although it was only a little before 0500 hours and she was still dressed in her nightgown, she ordered a site-to-site transport to B’Elanna’s quarters. She made her way through the dimly lit living room towards the small bedroom where the engineer was sleeping soundly. 

Kathryn stood by the bed for a moment and as she studied the half-Klingon’s features softened by sleep, she knew she was making the right decision. Very carefully she pulled back the covers and slid underneath them, next to B’Elanna’s sleeping form.

The other woman mumbled something, half aware of the disturbance, but didn’t wake up fully. As Kathryn drew closer, B’Elanna automatically wrapped her arm around her. The gesture, even though it was unconsciously made, warmed the Captain’s heart. 

Kathryn snuggled close, enjoying the embrace when B’Elanna’s eyes fluttered open after all. When she registered Kathryn next to her, she frowned sleepily.   
“What are you doing here?” She mumbled.

Kathryn placed a small kiss on the other woman’s forehead before she answered. “I want to be with you the morning after.”

B’Elanna’s frown deepened as she remembered spending the previous night alone, writing an engineering report.   
“But you weren’t here last night…”

Kathryn smiled. “I couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning…”


End file.
